


I'm Bi-Partisan To You

by wearyeyebrow



Category: Undertail - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Established Relationship, F/M, First Time Together, Fluff, Gentle femdom, Hand Job, I apologize drawfee viewers, I realize this should not be in the tag, I reference one video and this happens, Mediocre Sex Scene, Penetrative Sex, Praise Kink, Sexual Dysfunction, Slice of Life, Sub Sans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 11:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8205841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearyeyebrow/pseuds/wearyeyebrow
Summary: I just adore sub Sans and gentle femdom. And sexual dysfunction is an interesting topic to explore. The sex scene is toward the end, in case you want to get right to it. I just couldn't help but sneak a little story in there. Caution: this includes political discourse that's meant to be funny, because let's face it, what's more hilarious than American politics, am I right?





	

About a month ago you decided to breach the subject. Subtle wasn’t working; you’d had to be frank. 

So you'd asked if you could kiss him. 

And he reminded you that he didn’t have lips to kiss. 

You’d asked if he had an equivalent - he did but it wasn’t exactly similar. You’d asked him to show you. So, he pulled you down towards him and rested his forehead against yours. That’s all, he’d said. Not much else he can do. 

But that was the first time you’d felt it, the first time you’d gotten a taste of his magic. It hummed almost imperceptibly throughout his body, and when his forehead touched yours little tingly sensations ran down your face and neck, reddening your cheeks and tightening your throat. But you kept that to yourself. 

So you told him you liked it, and that it wasn’t much different from what you could do. You leaned down and kissed his forehead and then pressed your forehead to his. 

Our methods seem to work well enough together, you’d told him. 

He had leaned back, coughed into his hand, and agreed.

-

About a month later it’s pseudo date night for the two of you. You don’t really plan date night, it just sort of happens when one of you asks the other over. Since you’re together it’s technically a date, even though you just sit and read or watch TV and talk about whatever. It suits the two of you. 

It’s getting late and so before Sans has a chance to excuse himself you use your foot to nudge him from the other side of the couch. 

‘Hey.’

He raises a brow bone, ‘yeah?’

‘Can we talk about some stuff?’ He shrugs and lays down his book.

‘okay, shoot.’

‘Well,’ you can’t remember what you had planned on saying. ‘We’ve known each other for what, six years now?’

‘hmm, 7 i think.’

‘yeah, and we’ve been together for maybe… about four months now?’

‘eh, i think it’s like 5, but yeah?’

‘Well… when we were just friends we talked about sex clinically. You know, talked about the differences between magical and biological beings.’ You can see his body tense, imperceptible to the untrained eye. ‘And so I know for a fact that monsters can change their genitalia to fit whomever they’re with. So, that’s not the reason we’ve… What I mean to talk about is, why has sex become such a difficult topic, now that we’re in the position to start having it?’ Eh, not a bad job tackling the subject. Not great.

‘that’s… a good question. perfectly reasonable.’

‘Thanks, thought my speech was a solid seven out of ten.’

‘ah.’

‘So?’

‘so what?’

You sigh. This is where your attempts have been going. Around and around it flits in and out of conversation, as soon as you start to bring it up he changes the subject. 

‘So… you know we don’t have to have sex to be together, right? Like… if you don’t want to, or you want to wait, that’s fine.’ He stares at you. ‘I just want to know why, I guess. I mean, if you aren’t attracted to me I suppose I’d get that.’ He’s shaking his head. ‘Then what?’ He looks down towards the book he’s been reading and then sighs like the air being let out of a balloon. 

He looks at you, his smile more of a grimace. 

‘i know the line, ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’ is like a clichéd break up line – but i don’t mean it that way, i mean… when it comes to sex, it really is not you, but me, that’s the, uh, problem.’

‘Problem?’ 

‘yeah, i’ve… i’ve been avoiding the subject because i wanted to try and fix it first.’ He actually looks visibly uncomfortable. You decide to back up a bit. 

‘You know,' you say softly, 'whatever it is won’t leave this room. Only I’ll know, and you know I’d never tell anybody, even if we ever split.’

‘ah, it’s not that serious, don’t mean to make it out to be a huge deal. it’s just awkward.’ He sighs, relaxing a bit. 

‘i’m an adult, been one for a long time now, so you’d think that i’d have a handle on this sort of thing but i don’t, and i really didn’t want to start our relationship off with my… issues, i guess.’ 

‘i uh…’ he rubs the back of his neck, ‘i have a bit of a hard time with this kind of stuff on my own… or maybe it’s lack of a hard time, eheh…’ 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘…yeah, and like i said, i figured that maybe i could… fix the problem before we uh, did anything together, but it seems that fixing things isn’t my strong suit.’

You think for a minute. ‘Do you mean you can’t get an erection?’ 

He shakes his head. ‘no, that’s not the uh, hard part, heh. used that joke already, i know. it’s the finishing part that I can never seem to get to. eventually it starts to get, uh, uncomfortable. can’t seem to relax enough or something. i didn’t, ya know, want you to think that it was you, because it might look that way considering how easy it’s supposed to be for guys to get off.’ 

He’s looking at anything but you, as if trying to find something else to talk about, something else to draw your attention. He opens his mouth but you cut him off. 

‘Thank you. It’s actually really sweet of you to think of me like that.’ He continues to avoid your gaze. 

‘But, that’s not a problem with me. And if you’re okay with it, maybe we could try a few things? I just… you don’t have to come. I’ll do my best to make it happen, no doubt, but I won’t take it personally if it doesn’t. To be honest, I just really wanna know you better than I already do.’

‘…know me?’

‘Yeah. I want to get to know your body, which is an extension of your magic, if I’m right?’

‘basically, yeah.’

‘Then I want a chance to feel more of your magic, more of you. But only if you want to give it to me.’ He’s silent. 

‘Just to uh, clarify, you do want me?’ You can’t help but ask, your confidence waning a tad.

‘yes. i just can’t make any promises-‘

‘Then don’t. Let’s just enjoy each other. Sex doesn’t have a constant solution; its result changes as the variables change. In the end you’ll still get a correct answer, it’ll just be different each time.’

‘did you just use math to describe sex?

‘Maybe.’

‘kinky.’

You laugh, and your chest feels warm. He chuckles.

‘If you don’t mind me asking,’

‘you’ll ask anyway.’

‘…True. I guess the phrase should be, if you don’t mind answering.’

‘mm, that doesn’t work either, cause I don’t know the question you’re going to ask.’

‘English may have been built on semantics but they certainly aren't used in common practice.’

‘touche.’ He grins.

‘So, have you always had this problem? Or is it a more recent one?’

He doesn’t look too put off by the question. ‘it wasn't a problem the last time i had sex, eons ago. it didn't start until a few years later, and i’ve had this problem for, uh, a while now.’

You furrow your brow. ‘That sounds frustrating.’ 

‘heh. that’s one way to put it.’

‘Hey, you wanna stay the night? We don’t have to do anything; we’ll just sleep together-like actually sleep.’ You make snoring noises for effect.

He smiles and it reaches his eye lights. ‘sure. but fair warning: i’ve been told I sleep like death. i don’t move or breathe, so for all intents and purposes you’ll be sleeping with a science class skeleton.’

You get up and reach for his hand, and when he takes it you haul him off the couch. ‘Good.’

‘hmm?’

You press your forehead to his. ‘I’m a light sleeper.’

He looks away, mirth in his eyes this time. ‘heh. rad.’

-

About a week later you have another date night, he suggests it and you invite him over. 

Usually it’s a trade-off. One night you’re both at your place, the next night his. But he seems reluctant to follow the pattern, and you don’t particularly care one way or another. You’ll get a chance to talk to Papyrus sometime later this week.

You’re checking the crock pot when he opens the door with his key. He’ll take a shortcut to your place, but he always uses the door when he gets there. It’s an oddly sweet gesture. 

‘pap’s got some friends over.’ He says when he pulls up a chair to the counter. 

‘Good for him.’ You smile. He’s made quite a few good friends since they’ve been on the surface, a few bad ones too but they didn’t last long. 

‘yeah.’ He smiles too. 

‘This’ll be ready in a couple of hours. You wanna talk about Trump’s most recent verbal upchuck?’

‘hey now,’ Sans puts a hand over his chest, as if he’s offended. ‘you’re talking about our potential future president.’

‘Don’t EVEN.’ You groan, ready to pull your hair out. ‘You know what he said – I got my info from a reputable source – he said he wants to deport all monsters to Antarctica. Claims he know ‘for a fact,’’ air quotes, ‘that because monsters are made of magic they can’t feel the cold.’ You huff as you plop down on the couch. ‘He’s such a turd.’

*‘no he’s a yam, a really old yam.’ You burst out laughing. ‘That too!’

‘but yeah,’ he sighs as he plops down next to you, ‘his only redeeming quality is that he’s a fun guy to dislike.’ You snort. ‘True that.’

‘i am a bit worried, though.’

‘Hm? What about?’

‘probability says clinton is going to get elected, and even with all her pros she hasn’t said much about her stance on monster citizenship.’

‘True… but you know even if she’s pro citizenship the biggest problem’ll still be Congress.’

He rests his arm on the back of the couch. ‘congress?’

‘Yeah. Presidential candidates talk big, like they can make anything happen with their royal signature, but the truth is everything has to go through Congress. And if Congress doesn’t want it to happen it won’t happen. And it’ll probably be a 2/3 majority vote just like the Equal Rights Amendment… We have a limited amount of influence on who holds Congressional power. It’s our whole bi-partisan system coming back to bite us.’ 

‘so what you’re saying is, the president isn’t whom we should appeal to.’

‘Yes and no… you know; I think I’ve used up the extent of my knowledge. But I’ve got some old law text books and the internet, you wanna research it with me?

‘sure, let’s do it.’

‘Sweet!’

The two of you spend all evening combing your textbooks, your memory comes back to you over time, and he soaks up knowledge like a sponge. You eat dinner huddled over your Poli Sci book, discussing Nixon and turn of event politics. 

It’s just another date night. Goddamn it if you don’t love this skeleton man.

The night is winding down. ‘hey, you think I could borrow some of these text books? toriel and asgore have got a hand on politics, to be sure, but I don’t know there are some real specific things in here.’

‘Of course, you can take whatever you want.’ You smile up at him from your place on the floor, surrounded by open books and dirty dishes. 

He looks like he wants to say something more but doesn’t. You stretch your arms over your head and arch your spine, your back aching from lying on the floor so long. You sit up and look around you. ‘guess we better clean this up.’

‘uh, yeah.’

You pick up your bowls and head towards the kitchen sink. No sooner do you get there that you hear his footsteps stop behind you. Tentative hands are placed on your hips and you feel his forehead press into into your back. His voice is low and quiet. ‘i can’t make any promises, but uh, I’ve been thinking about what we talked about last week and if it’s, you know, cool with you, maybe we could give it a try and see how it goes?’

‘Yeah,’ you will your heartbeat to slow down, ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’ You set the dishes in the sink and reach down to give his hands a squeeze. He chuckles deep and low.

You turn around, ‘Well come on then,’ you take one of his hands in yours and meander over to your bedroom door. 

He closes it behind the two of you with a soft thud. You pull him backwards towards your bed by his hands. ‘You know neither of us have to finish right?’ 

‘yeah.’ He shrugs off his jacket and it drops to the floor. 

‘Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna try,’ you ditch your sweater.

‘it won’t be for lack of trying.’ You pull him close to you and kiss his forehead. ‘I just really want to rattle your bones Sans.’

‘hey that’s my line.’ 

You laugh. ‘I wanna jump your bones too.’ You run your hands down his shirt and over his spine. He shivers.

‘that’s a classic.’ He plants one hand on your waist, the other on the small of your back, and buries his face in the crook of your neck. He breathes in deeply. ‘fuck. you’re beautiful.’ You grin at the compliment, ‘you’re not so bad yourself handsome.’ He pulls back. 

‘na—‘ You kiss his teeth. You walk forward until his legs hit the bed and he’s forced to sit down.

You tug at his shirt. ‘Can I take this off?’

‘show you mine if you show me yours.’

‘Fair.’ You pull back and peel off your undershirt, no bra. Not like you wear one at home. 

He pauses, his shirt half way off and stares. You reach forward and run your fingers over his exposed ribs. ‘C’mon now…’

‘oh, uh, yeah.’ He pulls it over his head – it takes some doing, which makes you laugh and he references napoleon. ‘hey the guy made up for his height with a big head, i'm just followin' his tiny footsteps.’ You’re in near hysterics.

Once you can breathe again you step back and have a look. In the overcast lighting of your bedroom there is something unbelievably avant garde about him, something foreign, exotic, enticing. You fall in love with his angles instantly.

‘i know i’m, uh, not exactly your typical human lay, but…’ He’s caught you staring.

‘Nope,’ You say, leaning into him, ‘and I love it.’ You nuzzle the underside of his jaw, breathe in, and dart your tongue out for a taste. Chalky, musky, and something else you can’t put a name to. Hot damn. 

‘You’re intoxicating.’ You murmur into his shoulder, fully engrossed. You can feel his ribcage expand and contract under your hands, he breathes in sharply. 

You want him on his back, underneath you, so you can appreciate his body properly. You pull back, fingers running down his arms.

‘You okay with letting me lead?’

‘yeah, yeah that’d uh… be great, actually.’ He breathes out a breath you didn’t realize he’d been holding.

You kiss his forehead. ‘Thanks, baby.’

‘…baby?’

‘Ah, sorry, human thing. It’s a common pet name, if a little counter-intuitive, heh.’

‘nah, it’s a universal thing, you’ve just never said it. Thought you weren’t into pet names.’

‘Well, I’m into you, so I guess sometimes they’ll happen.’

He chuckles, his eyes half lidded. ‘cool.’

-

The foreplay is heavenly. He’s hesitant but responsive. His eye lights follow your every move. You crawl over him, you reach inside of him, every little place you can think of you try and test his response. You are in a data collecting mood and he sure doesn’t seem to mind. 

He responds much better to soft touches, slight scrapes of your blunt nails in the right places.

All of the places in between bone seem to be his spots. Especially in between the tiny details of his cervical vertebrae; his breath quickens and he says you name softly, gripping your hair. You suck on his clavicle and he whines a noise he doesn’t seem to realize he’s making. 

And all the while his hands are on you, his fingertips gliding across your skin, threading through your hair. 

It’s when you press your crotch against his that he moans, low and needy. His face turns light blue and he clears his throat. 

‘No, please…’ You take in a shaky breath and move your hips back and forth, creating delicious friction. ‘More of that, sing for me.’ His face flushes a shade darker, his eyes hooded with arousal. Oh god he looks so good. You assault his neck with your tongue and his hips begin to meet yours. 

You can feel what you would think was a normal human cock underneath his shorts, if not for the sparks of magic you feel each time you grind down.

‘fffuck...’

‘That’s it,’ you can feel your mind melting away, your intuition and instinct taking over. You want to hear more. 

You slow your hips to a grinding halt, you’re both breathing heavily. 

‘Can I please,’ you breathe in, ‘take these off?’ You breathe out, fingering his shorts. 

He groans, ‘take yours off too, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ You smile, your eyes glassy.

You sit up and pull down the zipper on your jeans, but then you realize ‘…These aren’t coming off unless I get up. Fuck.’ You reluctantly slide off the bed, he props himself up on one elbow and watches you clumsily remove your jeans one leg at a time. 

‘There is literally no way to make removing jeans sexy,’ you breathe. 

‘i don’t know what you mean.’

You can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or serious so you scrunch your nose and bark out a laugh. ‘Should I take these off too?’ You snap the waistband of your underwear.

‘fuck yes.’

You pull them down and a string of mucus stretches between your underwear and your cunt until it snaps at your knees. He makes a strangled noise. 

You crawl up the bed and over him. ‘Your turn.’ You wait as he fumbles with the waistband, pulling down his shorts and then his boxers. Oh fuck, the ache between your legs throbs when his cute, thick blue cock springs free. You inhale sharply. 

‘Fuck Sans… you look so good like this.’ He looks away from you but you both hear the needy whine that escapes from the back of his throat. You’re gone. 

You rub your cunt against his cock and you both moan, his pre-come has already slicked him up, and you’re so ready to take him. 

You breathe heavily into his shoulder, ‘Sans – can I?’ 

He groans ‘fuck yes, please.’

You look down and spread yourself, he steadies your hips with his hands as you guide his cock inside of you. He gasps when the head pops in. You bounce a few times before taking him to the hilt. His eye lights roll back and his hands move to your waist.

‘oh fuck, yes, _____ please, please…’ Fuck. 

You position your arms on either side of his head and arch your spine so your breasts meet his ribcage. His hands fall naturally to your hips and waist. You bite your lip; he presses his forehead against yours. ‘Sans… Ah, fuck Sans.’ 

You move and each time you slam your hips down he's gasping your name. When you can no longer hold yourself up, you bury your face in his neck and shift your weight. You can feel the little scratches he leaves on your back and it spurs you on. You don't know how long you ride him, you change up the speed, slow down when you get tired, but you you never stop. You wanna touch your clit, but you know you'll come the second you do. You move your hips faster, feeling that familiar build up. Ah fuck you’re getting close. 

‘Sans… Sans where are you at, baby?’ 

‘m’tryin’’ he grits his teeth. 

You can feel the tension coil in his body, he’s meeting your hips at every thrust but, ‘i… fuck.’ You’re so close. His legs are shaking. He suddenly grips your back but his spine arches away from you. 

‘i-- fuck! i can’t, i can’t, i can’t--!’ You can hear the frustration in his voice, he whines into your shoulder. ‘fuck, fuck, please, I just wanna… fuck it hurts, fffuck...’ 

You slow, willing yourself to calm down. 

‘no, no, _____, keep going, you were close right? c’mon, it’s, mmn…’ You still your hips, and press your lips to his forehead. 

‘I can’t, Sans.’ 

‘fuck! i knew this would happen, i just don’t know why I can’t fucking, fucking…’ 

‘Please Sans,’ you murmur into his forehead, ‘Please relax, relax for me.’ He breathing is ragged, but you can tell he’s trying. 

‘Now…’ you slowly lift yourself off of his cock and your cunt throbs. You kiss all of his ribs and when you reach his face you kiss every available space. His breathing slows down. You scoot beside him and sit up against the headboard. You open your arms, ‘C’mere. Sit in my lap.’

He looks confused. But he doesn’t hesitate to follow your instructions. His hip bones rest on your thighs as you sit criss-cross. His spine is pressed against your chest and his head is against your shoulder. It’s not the most comfortable position but you really don’t care right now.

You sweetly kiss the back of his neck. ‘All I want you to do for me is relax. You don’t have to come, I just wanna make you feel good.’ 

‘but you-‘ 

‘Shh…’ You run your fingertips over his pelvis, he sucks in a breath. They ghost the base of his cock and he tilts his head into your neck. ‘Tell me if it hurts okay? Tell me if you want me to stop.’ You feel him nod. Your fingers barely touch him but he responds as if you’re giving him a proper hand job. 

You speak soft and low, you back off when he whimpers, and begin to read his body. You don’t know how much time passes, but you have your hand wrapped lightly around his cock, thumb and pointer finger teasing the tip when he moans long and low. You begin to back off when he gasps.

‘no! oh fuck please don’t stop.’ His chest heaves and you keep up a steady pace. 

You tilt your head and begin to whisper. ‘It’s just you and me Sans... You deserve to feel good so let me take care of you, you don’t have to come, just wanna make you feel good. I just wanna hear you, touch you, c’mon, relax, you’re doing so well…’ like a mantra. He sobs into your shoulder but he doesn’t tell you to stop.

‘You look so good baby, I know you can do it, that’s it, just like that…’ his hips are meeting your thrusts, his fingers dig painfully into your thighs. ‘That’s it baby boy, let go, for me,’ you murmur into his forehead, feeling his magic spark against your lips.

‘fffuck, please, please, baby i fuck, i-i can’t... fuck!’ his voice cracks.

He’s so close. ‘You can baby, I know you can do it, I’m right here and we have all the time in the world. That’s it…’ In your peripheral vision you see his eye sockets squeeze shut, he turns and moans into your hair.

‘YES, fuck, please, f-fuckfuckfuck, i-i’m, oh god—’

With a shout his fingers dig into your skin, his hips freeze and translucent come dribbles onto your hand, another stream hits his sternum, and his hips twitch with each subsequent spurt.

You feel like you’re on cloud nine. But you keep your voice low, talking him through it, talking him down. He whimpers as more come dribbles onto your hand. You remove your hand when his cock finally stops pulsing. His body slowly goes limp in your arms and he mumbles into your hair. 

‘so good _____, yes, oh god i… i... mmm.’ He begins to calm down and his cock slowly fades from view. 

You’re running your fingers down his arms when you feel him shift. He faces you and wraps his arms around you, his head resting on your chest, his legs bending over your thighs. You run your fingers soothingly over his skull. He doesn’t say anything for quite a while, but you don’t mind the wait. 

‘you didn’t-‘

‘Later. I’ll come later,’ you grip his ribcage, ‘right now I just wanna hold you.’

His arms tighten around you. 

‘okay.’

**Author's Note:**

> *I encourage you search youtube for 'drawfee how to draw donald trump,' and enjoy. Whether you like him or not, it's hilarious.


End file.
